Cursed cats. Cosmic chaos. Comedy darker than it should be.
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Forget Meow Not
☀️
Releases June 6th!
🐈⬛
Forget Meow Not ☀️ Releases June 6th! 🐈⬛
What are you in the mood for?
Dark Fantasy
Curses, ghosts, and a very angry princess.
Detective Noir
Psychic cats. Cold cases. Bad attitudes.
Portal Adventures
Wrong world. Wrong body. No Tail.
Space Comedy
One cat. One spaceship. Zero qualifications.
Cosmic Comedy
Apocalypses, paradoxes, chaotic kitties.
Tender Ones
Some stories purr. These ones leave marks.
Holiday Comedy
Festive. Feral. Probably cursed.
Recently Released
A cat hits a spaceship viewport. In hard vacuum. Completely calm. Mouthing: "You missed the turnoff."
It gets worse from there.
Cargo hauler Jarik Venn just wanted to deliver freeze-dried rations and avoid toll stations. Instead, he rescued a reality-warping cat from the vacuum of space, became wanted in nine sectors, and accidentally destroyed a government starship with a weaponized hairball.
The cat's name is Brentley. He's a pathological liar, an escaped familiar, and possibly the most wanted being in three sectors. He's also Jarik's new passenger. Whether Jarik likes it or not.
Now they're being hunted by the Familiar Reclamation Bureau of Licensing—a cosmic agency dedicated to tracking down rogue magical entities and drowning them in paperwork. Their lead agent? Inspector Greeb, a corgi in a tiny vest who quotes regulations like scripture and has a personal vendetta against one particular orange tabby.
Between zero-G slapstick, bureaucratic absurdity, and one catastrophically glowing hairball, Jarik discovers that the universe's rules are more like suggestions. Reality bends around Brentley. Lies occasionally come true. And the Bureau has seventeen different forms for "harboring a fugitive familiar."
When Brentley's past catches up to them in the form of a Leviathan-class enforcement frigate, Jarik faces a choice: spend the rest of his life filing paperwork in triplicate, or embrace the chaos and become the galaxy's most wanted transportation provider.
The cat already filed the paperwork. Mentally. Jarik's complicit.
NINE LIVES, ZERO PAPERWORK is the first book in the Nine Lives, Infinite Lies series—a comedic science fiction adventure featuring:
A cat who survives vacuum and lies with impunity
Space bureaucrats more dangerous than pirates
A corgi inspector with a badge and a martyr complex
Zero-G slapstick involving haunted mayonnaise
One very unfortunate cargo hauler who just wanted a quiet life
Paperwork. So much paperwork.
Cosmic comedy where bureaucracy meets chaos.
Nine Lives, Zero Paperwork
A cat hits a spaceship viewport mouthing: "You missed the turnoff."
Missi has a good life. She has her witch, her brother, her spot on the back of the chair, and a demanding opinion about when pets should happen. She survived kittenhood in dangerous places, lost siblings, got passed over by another witch who didn't want her. But she found home. She's content.
Then her face starts to hurt.
At first it's small—a sore spot she keeps licking, a scab that won't heal. Her witch notices. There are trips to the healer, potions that taste terrible, words Missi doesn't understand spoken in worried tones over her head. She doesn't know what's wrong. She only knows that something has changed, and the pets she used to demand now make her flinch.
Her magic has turned traitor. A flaw she was born with, dormant until now, has woken. Her own power treats her skin as the enemy—attacking, blistering, refusing to let her heal. It's not a curse anyone cast. It's just what her body does now.
What follows isn't a battle. There's no villain to defeat, no cure to quest for. There's only the long, unglamorous work of figuring out how to live. Treatments that don't work. Treatments that work for a while and then stop. Good days that feel like gifts. Bad days that feel like betrayal. A witch who absorbs the fear and the research and the financial strain so Missi doesn't have to carry it alone—even though Missi doesn't fully understand what her human is doing or why.
Through it all, Missi stays herself. Opinionated. Dignified. Frustrated when her body won't cooperate. Confused when routines keep changing. Still demanding affection, even when she has to be careful about how she receives it. Her brother stays close—a warm presence when everything else feels wrong.
The resolution isn't triumphant. It's quieter than that. A medication that finally seems to hold. A stretch of days where nothing gets worse. The slow realization that this is life now—different, careful, requiring adjustments—and life can still be good.
Handle with Care
A tortoiseshell familiar. A body at war with itself. Love measured in doses.
Mungus ate the end of the world. It tasted like chicken.
When Claire Pemberton's cat consumes a cosmic artifact that was supposed to be her thesis paperweight, she expects some digestive complications. She does not expect fish showers over London, traffic lights speaking ancient Sumerian, or a government committee determined to take her cat away for "containment."
Now Claire—an anxiety-ridden graduate student whose entire field nobody takes seriously—must navigate emergency bureaucracy, face down hostile treasury officials, and prove that love isn't a weakness in cosmic entity management. It's the only thing that works.
Her allies include a demon named Harold who considers paperwork a form of devotion, a government agent whose cat is learning to purr at pipes, and a professor who just discovered his thirty years of theoretical research are terrifyingly real. Her opposition includes a man who views kindness as a budget line item to be eliminated.
The committee votes. The containment order stands. And Mungus walks into a cage to protect the person he loves.
But Claire isn't done fighting.
The Cat Who Ate The End Of The World is a cozy fantasy novella about trust, bureaucratic absurdity, and the lengths we'll go to protect the ones who matter. It features:
A cosmic cat who thinks in italics about "food lady"
A demon with an enthusiasm for proper documentation
Fish showers, prophetic hamsters, and a missing Tuesday
Found family forged through crisis
The question of whether love is a sufficient basis for managing existential threats (it is)
Standalone novella. No cliffhangers. Contains one (1) deeply objectionable can of diet tuna.
The Cat Who Ate the End of the World
He ate the apocalypse. She fought the paperwork. The demon took notes.
Coming Soon
July 4, 2026
This document was not approved by Human Resources. Human Resources doesn't know it exists. Let's keep it that way.
Nine Lives, One Witness
August 8, 2026
Brentley lies. Reality listens. One witness wrote it all down.
June 6, 2026
Velzara was forged for the apocalypse. She decided to be a house cat instead.