Luis Cannon was a hardboiled detective. Trench coat, gravel voice, and a nose for trouble. Then he touched the Cognichonk: a cursed, possibly divine relic disguised as a cosmic cat toy.

Now his mind is fractured, scattered across a psychic network of orange cats.

When they sync with the Cognichonk, they become him. Sharp, cynical, noir-narrating sleuths. When it fades? Back to licking power cords and screaming at ceiling fans.

But something’s wrong in the network. Cats are remembering things they shouldn’t. An old rival is clawing toward ascension. And the Cognichonk? It’s choosing sides.

If Luis doesn’t solve the case soon, he won’t just lose his mind. He’ll lose what’s left of himself.

A surreal noir-fantasy full of cursed sigils, prophetic kittens, and feline-fueled conspiracies, Containment Not Recommended is a detective story with claws.

Because the truth purrs.

And it bites.

The light ambushed me—a 3am confession that clawed into my consciousness, draped in yesterday's intentions and last night's bad ideas. It poured through a gap in the alley wall baking the pavement, and branding its golden truths into everything it touched.

My truth? I was in a box. Cardboard. Damning. Dust clung to my fur like guilt. The air reeked of week-old chow mein and mildew. The kind of choices you make when your coupons have expired, and your therapist is on sabbatical.

A fly buzzed nearby. Somewhere else a pigeon plotted murder. It was your typical midday back-alley scene. I blinked against the sunbeam, trying to remember how I got here.

I didn’t remember my name. Just betrayal—and maybe tuna. The tuna was probably a dream. But betrayal? That was real. Names could come later, once the yarn straightened out.

Something scratched inside my skull. A thought? A memory? A raccoon with a badge and a vendetta? Maybe it was—

Chonk, whispered a voice that wasn’t mine. Fuzzy and faintly moist, like it had just licked a window. Pure Butternugget, though I didn’t know that yet.

The Chonk remembers you, it giggled. Remembers your toes. Chooses. Always choosing. Even when it’s sleeping. Especially when it’s eating shoelaces.

I came to with my face buried in a stack of receipts and regret. The old oak counter of The Clairvoyant Cat groaned under my weight like it was tired of the charade—like it had witnessed too many false promises sold by the ounce and paid for in broken dreams. Ink stains. Grease spots. A ledger of small-town occult dreams, paid in cash and wishful thinking. The lights hung low, drowning in Anna's idea of after-hours atmosphere. My throat betrayed me with every vibration—a purr that wouldn't quit, wouldn't apologize, wouldn't do anything but announce my tabby-shaped sins to the empty shop.

Don’t fight it, Mango crooned, warm and drowsy in my skull. She likes the sound.

“The purr is a lie,” I growled back.

So is love. Your point?

I lifted my head slowly, ears flicking at every creak in the floorboards. Overstuffed shelves leaned like conspirators caught mid-whisper. Dust motes drifted in the lamplight like slow, accusing thoughts—the kind that visit you at 3 AM when the whiskey's gone but the guilt's still pouring. Cinnamon tea gone cold, wax from candles burned too long, paper yellowed with age—the shop reeked of it all. The kind of smell that makes you think every page turned here whispered something it shouldn't have.

But beneath it—ozone. Like the memory of lightning.

My eyes cut to the sigils pinned behind the counter. Ink on yellowed parchment. Protective wards, maybe. But drawn wrong. Asymmetrical. Frantic—like prayers scribbled by a man who knows the devil's already in the room, counting down his heartbeats. Some scrawled over older marks, the ink cracked like dried blood. When the candle guttered, they seemed to twitch. Enough to raise the hackles on my back.

Pretty, aren’t they? Mango sighed. She collects them for me.

"She doesn’t know what she’s collecting."

Details.

Footsteps on warped floorboards. Slow. Careful. Each creak sounded like a confession she didn’t want to make.

“Mango?” Her voice. Soft as a promise you knew would break.

There she is. Mango warmed. Look at her.